1. Mr.Knott is a teacher of a school in London. It's a long way to his school from his house so he is usually tired when he gets home.
One day, he got home, was tired as uasual. He was in bed when someone called him. He went downstairs, picked up the phone and said,' Hello. Who's speaking. please?'
- Watt.
- What's your name, sir?
- Watt's my name.
- Yes, I asked you that. What's your name?
- I told you. Watt's my name. Are you Jack Smith?
- No, I'm Knott.
- Will you give me your name, please?
- Will Knott.
Both the men hanged up the phone angrily and thought,' What a stupid, rude man.'
 
2. The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an “E”. One boy says, “Elephant.”
Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”. The same boy says, “Two elephants.”
The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with “M”.
The boy shouts from the other side of the wall: “Maybe an elephant!”
 
3. Akpos asked a girl in a library
“Do you mind if I sit beside you”?
The girl answered with a loud voice; “I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!!”
All the students in the library started staring at Akpos and he was embarrassed.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the Akpos table and she told him “I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, – I guess you felt embarrassed, right ?”
Akpos responded with a loud voice : “10,000 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT! ? THAT’S TOO MUCH!!!”
And all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and Akpos whispered in her ears; “I study Law and I know how to make someone feel guilty”
 
4. A business woman named Cindy was in the airport VIP lounge on her way to Los Angeles. While in the VIP lounge, she noticed Donald Trump sitting on the sofa enjoying a brandy. As luck would have it, Cindy was meeting with a very important client who was running somewhat late.
Being a bold business woman, Cindy decided to go ahead and approach Mr. Trump, and introduced herself. Much to her surprise Mr. Trump turned out to be very nice. Encouraged by this she explained to "the Donald" that she was about to close a very important business deal and that she would be very grateful if he could say a quick "hello Cindy" to her when she was with her client. Mr. Trump consented to do just that.
Ten minutes later while Cindy was speaking with her client, she felt a rap on her shoulder. It was Donald Trump. Cindy turned about and looked at him as Trump said.
"Hi Cindy, what's going on?"
To which Cindy glibly replied, "Not now, Donald, can't you see I'm in a meeting!"
 
5. A bus stops and two Asian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first,but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following:"Emma (M) come first. Den I(i) come. Two asses(s), dey(they) come together. I(i) come again. Two asses(s), dey(they) come together again. I(i) come again and pee(p) twice. Then I(i) come once-a more.""You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, cool down lady," said the man. "I'm just telling my friend how to spell Mississippi."
 
6. A woman was having some trouble with her heart, so she went to see the doctor. He was a new doctor, and did not know her, so he first asked some questions, and one of them was ,"How old are you ?"

"Well," she answered , "I don't remember, doctor, but I will try to think". She though for a minute and then said, "Yes, I remember now, doctor! When I married, I was eighteen years old, and my husband was thirty. Now my husband is sixty, I know; and that is twice thirty. So I am twice eighteen. That is thirty-six, isn't it?